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Cake and FAILURE

  • A virulently bright teal, melty cake. Over it, the word "Cake" in cursive and "FAILURE" in block caps. Yes, that is my handwriting. --Ariel
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Product Description

Springing back onto the scene with new scents, ZOMG has decided to take a less optimistic tone from now on and embrace the fact that sometimes things just suck, and you have to admit failure. Abject failure. Your cake fell. Your engineering project fell. You thought that cliffside was stable, and it wasn't. As you lie in your metaphorical morass, morose and mangled, you think: so this is it. I failed.

What you need is CAKE. Nothing goes better with failure than cake, because cake is the opposite of failure. It provides that uplifting moment you need to get back out of your stew and move on to dessert, because cake is by nature ephemeral. Someone else will eat it, if you don't. If no one eats it, time and the merciless creep of rot will gnaw at it anyway. Cake, my friends, is impermanent. Cake does not last forever.

And neither does failure. It doesn't taste good, but it's not forever, and you get to pick yourself up and move on to try again with what you've learned. Unless you really did fall off a cliff, in which case you should be using your phone signal to call for help, not browse the internet.

Vanilla, sweet buttercream icing, neroli, stiff-as-cardboard fondant roses, a touch of petitgrain for the sour wang of despair, earthy patchouli root for deep-rooted fears, dirt to rub your face in for a really good wallow in misery before you graduate to catharsis, and milk to moo-ve on. Hoof it. You heard me. Don't stay cowed. 


(So maybe I'm not that good at demotivational statements after all. Happy April 1st, and... don't let that stuff get you down so bad, ok? Have a hot shower, eat something, take your vitamins, get enough rest. It'll probably look better in the morning. <3, Ariel)


(This item is 5ml bottle.)

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