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Dr. Zomg's Blue Mass Salve

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Product Description

"Blue mass" sounds more like something you'd want to cure than a cure-all. But medicine it was! Powerful stuff, if you're willing to define "powerful" as "doesn't fix anything but distracts you with other problems". The other ingredients varied, but always present was plenty of mercury salt...and if you're unfamiliar with the effects of mercury poisoning, consider this guy. (Mercury was used to felt beaver fur for top hats, thus the name. )

This particular arrangement is based on a recipe popular in Abe Lincoln's time, and which stands a decent chance of being the same stuff that he took for melancholy from about 1855 to 1861: licorice root, rose water, bluebell honey, mallow, and no actual mercury at all.

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Product Reviews

  1. My son says everyone should have their own... 5 Star Review

    Posted by on 9th Jan 2014

    ...Patent Shenanigans. He adores the name of this collection, as much as collecting them. I let him pick the scents this time, and he chose Candy Mechanic, Mantle Plume, and two Patent Shenanigans(that is so much fun to say!).

    In the Bottle, Roses and Licorice(not my favourite candy, if you've read the Edison portion of my Deathmatch review), with a whiff of Honeyed Marshmallow fluff. On my son, this glorious Marshmallowy sweet, Bluebell Honey, and a very Gentlemanly Rose, with the barest whiff of Licorice. He marveled at such a grown up scent, and said it was cheerful.
    On me...well, I just can't win. It's Patent Shenanigans toyed with me. Licorice Punch to the sinuses. Barely a whiff of Honey, or Mallow, and no roses at all.
    Sensing my despair at me being unable to wear it, he grabbed the Candy Mechanic (pulled an Edison V. Tesla on me) and daubed a bit over the Blue Mass Salve. It became this lovely almost S'mores scent, with a hint of Engineering.
    Who knew science could smell this delicious? Oh, right. We did!
    He says for him another ten stars, and with the trick he pulled on me, also a ten. Thanks ladies!

  2. Sweet, like deep woods at sunset 3 Star Review

    Posted by on 29th Dec 2013

    For a long time I thought this was "Blue moss salve" because the wet dark mossy smell of the forest is what it makes me think of. It's not quite green, it's sweet but in a nature way, not in a food way. I don't get the soapy scent that other reviews mention, to me it's more organic smelling. It's not my favorite of the Cure-Alls, but I do like it on occasion.

  3. Forum Recovery Review 4 Star Review

    Posted by on 25th Jun 2012

    by Lichloved » Fri Nov 25, 2011 1:40 am

    Wet the licorice is very noticeable, practically to the detriment of everything else. After it dries the licorice really tones down and the freshness of the other scents can be appreciated. I can understand what the previous review means about "soap but not soapy", since I could see soap having this scent but it's not something that actually smells "soapy". I know a man who loves steam-punk and things from the Victorian and pre-victorian bygone era that would like this. It's defiantly more a male scent with a cooling sophisticated quality.

    I got this as an extra with a suqee party. Meaning they actually sent me 12 when I ordered 10. That was such a pleasant surprise! (If you see this THANKS!) I think it was because I mentioned I was looking for scents to buy for 2 guys in my life. They pretty much hit the bulls-eye with this since it makes me think of him right away.

  4. Forum Recovery Review 3 Star Review

    Posted by on 25th Jun 2012

    by Sukita » Sat Jun 04, 2011 11:30 am

    This is very light, soft and bright. It smells like a sweet soap - not exactly sweet, not exactly soapy, but fresh and clean and warm. It's not quite my thing, but it's lovely

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