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Want to Get Pizza? 2018

  • Image 1
  • A small pepperoni pizza in a big scientific glass flask.
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Product Description

This is too powerful. I'm afraid we can't let you have a bottle of it. Sorry.

This is intense, you understand. We have to be sure you're going to use it wisely.

You know how wearing a sweet, desserty scent can make you and other people around you want dessert? Well, this is like that, but more dangerous, because it goes straight to the pizza center of your brain and demands Italian food. It's savory and smells like delicious thyme-crusted buttered breadsticks or savory pasties. You shouldn't wear it if you're hungry. You shouldn't wear it around hungry people, especially if they've just been jousting. Jousting makes you hungry. So does this scent. It smells like warm, fresh gluten. It will give you too much power over them. 

The power to make them say yes when you tell them the name. Even though it's not appropriate for a RenFest, or RenFaire, or anything with jousting in it.

We are uncertain that you can be trusted with this power.





Okay. Maybe.


(This item is absolutely real and can be ordered... if YOU think you can be trusted with this power.)

(It first appeared a few years ago, and it's making a brief comeback in slightly changed but equally effective formulation in order to appear to new initiates of the Power of Za. Mostly because it's fun.)

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